It sounds so cliche in these modern times to meet someone for coffee. But, it is probably one of the more wise situations in which to interact with a person. And, contrary to popular belief, you do not have to get coffee. One can have either a hot or cold beverage. Many menus offer flavored coffees, a variety of teas, hot chocolates, iced teas, iced coffees, and, if not one of those beverages whets your palate, then take your own bottle of soda.
There are many reasons why one should meet at a coffee shop for a first interaction. Notice, I say interaction and not date. That is what the first encoutner is really. It’s an interaction. And don’t sit there and say “Oh, well, I’ve been emailing and texting with this person for three days now so I know them”. Oh no you don’t. You know what you have read and (probably didn’t) retain. You know what they wanted you to know….be it true or false.
You are saying “I want to have a couple of drinks. What’s the harm in meeting for drinks?” Skip the alcohol. So many people say they need a drink or two for that ‘liquid courage’. If you need to be mellowed out by the effects of alcohol, then stay home and relax. Or go out with a friend and hang out. If you want to meet people and attempt to find someone to be in a long-term relationship with, then go in with a clear mind. And, we all know that one goes down pretty easily. And that the second one is even easier than that first drink. And, before you know it, you are sharing things or asking questions that one probably should not be asking on a first interaction or date.
Coffee houses are public, bright, and do not have the noise that a bar or restaurant may have. You can have an actual conversation and get to know the person without yelling “What?” over and over.
And……………drum roll please…………..coffee can be a half hour activity. If the person you have met is not what you expected or doesn’t seem to be interesting (or interested), or you are getting that ‘vibe’ that it was not wise to meet this person in the first place, you can leave after a brief time.
However, with coffee, you can make it linger if you are having fun. And, if it’s going well, you can then head to a bar or restaurant to turn this interaction into more of a ‘date’ scenario.
I’ve been in both situations. I have met men for coffee that did not look anything like their pictures (talk about false advertising!) or they were giving off a vibe that I did not feel safe around them, and coffee was a quick and painless way to keep the interaction short. I have met men that we clicked immediately and sat there for two hours just chatting. I have also been invited to take the interaction from said coffee location to a restaurant nearby, and then had either lunch, dinner, or even just split a few appetizers and continued talking.
Do what you think works for you, but, trust me on this one. I wouldn’t have spilled the beans if it wasn’t worth the tip!