It had been awhile since I had heard from Mr. Unemployed. Remember, I had called him & he didn’t pick up the phone because he didn’t recognize the number. Then he had no problem texing me that same night only because I had chatted with him online. I then called him again and spoke for a bit.

He sent me a text saying good morning the next day & then sent me an ecard for my birthday. That was it. I had not heard from him since. I sent him a ‘thank you’ email for the ecard. I then sent him a text that Friday night that he responded to he ‘didn’t know who it was contacting him’. Didn’t you have my name in your phone? I had his…..I have all of their’s so I know who it is calling & which ones to pick up & which to avoid.

I’d seen him online numerous times all week & figured I was not about to continue being the initiator in this because is should be a two-way deal.

I got tired of the nonsense & sent him an email that said it’d been nice chatting but I was not feeling anything because there’s no effort on his part. It was a nice email but still not something someone wants to get, I guess.

He emailed me back all of the reasons why he had not contacted me: I have a hectic schedule, he’d seen me online but didn’t want to bother me, would call my cell but I may be in class, and he had been adjusting to his now work schedule. Remember he was unemployed for 6 months.

So I sent it back saying he did not have to break it all down for me, but people call people all of the time at all hours. And usually people getting the call will answer if they can or call back later if it isn’t a good time.   That’s also the point of a voicemail…..or so I had thought.

He sent it back that he has enough friends, did not want to chat with me if we were not going to try and meet & that so far the score is 1-0, me up, because we talked once on the phone. EW!

So I sent it back that if he wanted to be technical, then its 2-0 with zero for him. I also pointed out it was me who sent the texts, not him.

This was all so silly. I have no time for games. I want people who are paying for this stupid site to put some effort into this….not let it all be on me because I “might be busy”.

I had received an email from a new guy on Match. He was oh so hot looking and sounded so nice. He’s an automechanic, can not spell to save his life, and this cutie contacted ME! From what the picture shows, he’s a hottie.  He did not do the stupid ‘wink’ thing. He actually emailed me the first time out. It was simple (kind of like how he comes across) and said “Hey…my name is Mr. Mechanic and I just wanted to say hi. Maybe you’d like to chat soon. Let me know. take care.”

I sent it back (after I stopped drooling & petting the screen) and kept it short & sweet. He then emailed me back and said that I have a great smile, seem like a sweet heart (yes 2 words) & he’d buy me a teddy bear (bc that’s what it said on my profile).

I had sent him my number & then my phone died. I know! Well, I got a phone/car charger for my birthday so that will not happen anymore. He called & left me a message. I LOVED LOVED LOVED how his voice sounded. The catch? He’s 21. But I said I needed a toy. So I guess this was it. God was smiling on me & sending me my birthday present. Oh how fun this could be!

The next un-match that began was with a man who had been out of a job for over a month. I have nothing against this…I dated a guy (Cowboy) who had 7 jobs in 3 1/2 years. I know that companies lay off due to contracts ending and them literally having no work for an entire sector of their employees. However, I am not sure if meeting people and trying to date while budgeting is the smartest thing to do.

I did not asked him what it is “he does” because, as far as I can tell, he doesn’t. He emailed me a nice letter filled with similar interests & questions for me. Good start. I replied. He then sent me his screen name for aol and we chatted. Nothing major. Nothing earth-shattering. Nothing that made him stand out (yet) from any of the other freaks, self-proclaimed geeks, and weirdos that have crossed my path so far.

His last email to me had his cell # and a statement saying “I am not usually this forward, but you seem really nice and I thought it’d be easier if we talk on the phone to see if we ‘click’”. That is what they all have said so far.

The problem? The ones that I have gone out with and talked with (at length) all think we “clicked” and I thought I had sent CLEAR signals that it was a “no-go” for me. All of this game-playing, first date jittering, and aimless ‘getting to know you’ crap was wearing thin on my nerves & patience.

I guess we shall soon find out the fate of Mr. Unemployed.

At 8:15 the next  morning, I received a text from Mr. Law: “Hi!”

I saw it at 9am and did not bother to reply.

At 10am I got another one “Hi”

So I sent it back with the same greeting.

At 11:15 am “How’s the meeting?”

I sent it back 20 minuts later….”Boring”

I get it back rather quickly “Its hectic here. I wish I had boring” ( Which my mind is screaming “YOU ARE BORING”).

He then calls my cell at 12:45 “Hey you. I just wanted to call on my short lunch break to say hi and see how things are going. I have a meeting, a trial and another meeting all this afternoon. Hope you are having fun at the meeting.”

‘Hey you’? I don’t have a name? Or you are sooooooooooo comfortable with me & have moved our non-relationship up a few levels that this is the cutesy thing to do. How about don’t?

I ignore it. I get a text that evening: “So how was your day?”

I waited an hour to send it back “Fine” He sends it back right away “That’s good. Mine was crazy.” I sent it back “So are you on your way to Fla?” “No, I had to work late & will check now for availability.”

I was on aol and didn’t know that he was on & didn’t block him or put up an away message fast enough & there it is:

“So what type of food do you like?” I sent it back ”All types.”  He sends it again “Do you like to eat in Manhattan or LI?”  I text back ”Why?”  He sends it “Because I wanted to think of a place to take you to dinner.” I sent it back “Thank you, but I’ll have to say no. I don’t see this going anywhere.”    This is his reply to me saying no:  “Okay. We are different. I like to be active. I like to work out.”  I point out:  “I like to be active and work out, too.”                         “Ok.  It was nice meeting you. You have all of the qualities I am looking for in a woman.” “Thanks. Good luck.”

And let’s hope that is the end of the Trial of Tanya.

If you are using dating sites you know how long it takes to fill out the profiles.  That means you also know how long it can take to read through someone’s profile.  But, if you do read the entire profile, it can save you a lot of time and (potentially) wasted effort.  If you are looking to casually date, try not to contact people who are on there specifically for long term/marriage.  While you may see the person as a great time and have fun getting to know them, they may be looking at a fast-track to permanence.  As well, if a deal-breaker for you is dating someone who is married but “looking to explore”, then be sure to read the profiles of those who contact you.

It specifically stated in my profile that I wanted long-term/marriage and that I was not interested in people who are looking to hang out, casually date, or are already married or separated. 

I was contacted by a man who was “looking to explore”.  I sent it back thanking him but stating that I was not interested because of his situation and asked if he had even read my profile.  He replied that, yes, he had read my profile but felt he had to try anyway since he and his wife have an open relationship.

That’s great for them, but that’s not for me.  Save yourself the time, effort, and getting your hopes up.  Read the profile.

Chi-town guy & I had emailed on the site a couple of times & he sent me his number. I called it on a Tuesday night. He didn’t answer so I left a message. He called me back that Thursday night and we chatted for an hour and a half. He seemed really nice. We talked about his having lived in CT for 3 years & Chicago for 7 & now he’s back on LI because he has 2 nieces & 2 nephews that he wants to be near. SO CUTE! We talked about the site. He’d been on 6 weeks…..which is also how long he had been at his job. He’s an advertisement salesman for some firm & does well. Problem? He doesn’t know anyone here & anyone he did know is married & doesn’t know anyone single for him.  I know that story all too well!

He asked me about my job & I told him what I do. Silence. He said he was very impressed, but I got the feeling that his silence was not impression at all.

We talked literature……he likes Alfred E. Newman…..I said “who?”…..he said “Mad Magazine?” I giggled and said I had never read it.

We talked film….he loves Borat & Napoleon Dynamite. I told him I didn’t see Borat & don’t care if I do and that I began crying out of sheer pain 20 minutes into Napoleon.

We left off with meeting at Friday’s the next night around 8 for drinks.

I got up the next morning (Friday) & checked my email & there’s one from Chi-town. “Hey. I am going to cancel tonight. I don’t think we have anything in common. Let me know you got this.”

I sent it back saying “Okay, that’s fine. I don’t understand why you say that when we talked for an hour & a half last night, but if that’s how you feel. Best of luck to you with your job & this site……” and my name.

He sent it back “I think I am too sophomoric for you. You seem serious.”

So I reply “Again, I don’t know you & if that’s your impression of yourself, that’s fine. However, I am a HUGE kid.” and told him some of my silliness. Again, I wished him luck in his pursuit & that’s it.

My date canceled because I am “too serious”. This is why I don’t tell people what I do for a living. This is why I have sat through really bad movies so people won’t say that. I am tired of people in general. And I don’t want to lie to someone because if it works out & I have to finally admit my age, my taste in film, my job…..they won’t like it that I had lied.

I didn’t want to be single. I didn’t want my Ex to cheat on me and to go. I didn’t think this is how things would be. Does it get better?

I figured that I had met two Staten Island guys in the last two years that were 1) hot 2) nice & 3) into me. Did I give either my number? No. Why? I’m dumb & hindsight is 20/20.

I saw that a S.I. guy had checked out my profile so I looked at his. He was cute & seemed nice….on screen. I sent him an email asking him some questions. He sent back a nice email but didn’t answer any of my questions. It’s almost as if he sent me an email not knowing I sent him one.

We did this four times in 6 days but he never seemed to delve any deeper than the basics of what’s already posted on the site. It just didn’t seem to be clicking & I wasn’t sure how that works when he wouldn’t answer any of the questions I asked & only asked me pointless things like “What’s the last band you saw?” and “Wow! So you work right down the street from where I last played, huh?”

Yeah. Great conversationalist. So, after the whole Chi-guy thing that happened earlier that same morning, I sent Mr. Band an email saying “it’s been nice emailing but that’s all this seems to be so good luck with the music thing.”

Was I expecting too much of this dating website?

I got an email from a Mr. Obnoxious. He sent a basic one “Liked your profile. Check mine out. Maybe we’ll chat.”

I looked at it and saw that he does not like brainiacs nor does he like sarcasm. I sent back a polite email and said “Thank you but I see you find these two things a turn-off. I am a bit of a brainiac and a lot sarcastic. Good luck and thank you, again.”

To which I get an email back “Do you believe everything you read on the internet? Did you think maybe I was being sarcastic?”

So I sent back “I do not believe everything I read. However, when people sign up for such a site, I do expect them to be honest with their own profile.”

He replied “Again, do you think that maybe I was being sarcastic?”

I didn’t respond.

I got another email “Again, I was trying to be funny. You really do sound sweet. Maybe we’ll chat” Ummmmmmm……no?

So far, emotional baggage, no comprehension level, bad sense of humor, and attitude all the way. Is anyone normal on dating sites?